Happy New Year!
First off: Children and families, we care deeply for you, and we are rooting for you as you step into 2025.
Rather than offering a New Year’s resolution idea, here’s a suggestion of a trajectory to pursue this year.
One of the most valuable skills we can teach our children is to sort out individual perceptions from others’ perspectives. (Adults can benefit from continuing to hone this skill, as well!) It’s part of emotional intelligence.
The basic idea: Individual perceptions, or how something appears in the moment through my specific lens, can greatly differ from others’ perspectives, or how they might feel about or interpret the same situation.
The why: Understanding this and being able to read a broader story than my own can help children (all of us) more successfully navigate life and have healthier relationships.
Easier said than done, right?
Actually, some simple practices can help develop this skill in everyday life. Check out these ideas and adopt the ones that seem most helpful and fitting for your family. It’s the tiny, everyday steps we take that end up making a monumental difference over time.
- Start with yourself. Your children learn by watching you; let them see how you try to understand their (and others’) perspectives. Also, get introspective about negative thought patterns you may have about a child’s behavior (or another person) and reframe them – perhaps viewing an irritating behavior as a cry for connection, for example, helps you react more constructively and with more positive feelings. The daily grind can get to us, but gratitude for the present can be transformative.
- Talk about feelings. All feelings, good and bad, are valid and tell us something. Try helping a child figure out what they’re feeling and why. Show that you understand and believe what they’re feeling. Children benefit when they experience their feelings being respected and heard rather than dismissed.
- Talk about the other side of the story. If your child takes another child’s toy, for example, help your child think about the other’s thoughts or feelings. Talk about the cause-and-effect aspect of our actions on other people or our surroundings. You also can help them explore the link between people’s actions and motives.
- Plot out an exit ramp. When we fixate on something that bothers us, it grows and starts to seem overwhelming. We chart thought pathways that quickly become habits. Teach your child to notice those thought patterns – about a challenge with a person or situation – and to take the exit ramp when they’re speeding toward anger, frustration, or bitterness. Talk about ways they could instead move toward positive thoughts, such as gratitude for the good or even distraction as an initial aid, then toward more constructive solutions.
- Make it a game. If you’re bored waiting in line or sitting at a restaurant, watch some strangers interacting and play detective. What are they thinking or feeling? What motives might they have? Could the real story be much different from what’s apparent? Curiosity is a beneficial posture in productively examining our own or others’ feelings.
- Promote interaction. Practice makes perfect! Encourage your child to engage, collaborate, and value others – on whatever terms make sense for your child. If we care about others, it’s much easier to care about their feelings and perspectives.
Wishing you and yours all the best in 2025!
Pariva Health has helped more than 25,000 families of neurodivergent children and
counting — find out more about the ways in which we empower families, offering hope and help, with lots of play and no wait list.